Unfortunately, Russell just got an e-mail with the subject reading "Amazon Kindle Support". He just turned and kinda looked at me and said "I just got an e-mail from amazon... ... ..."
(push the play button to feel the full effect of my despair)
dang. serious bummer. I even had great plans of hollowing out a section of a book and wrapping the kindle up inside as a decoy gift. Poor Russell - didn't know whether to act excited or sorry that my surprise was ruined. He shared a required mourning period with me, and now he's been looking up kindle stuff online ever since. At least he's really gonna like it.
Somehow sharing my pain on here makes me feel better. I can stop crying now.